I met Marissa Gold through my friends in Glamour’s online beauty department, but this love and relationships writer covers the beauty and fitness beat, as well, and we’ve definitely endured a diabolical Physique 57 class or two together. She always has sage life advice, so I hit her up to share her Five Rules For Life. Read on for the DIY scrub tip you need in your life NOW.

At least a few times in life, we encounter things that are a little scary, but really exciting. When your heart says “YES!” but your practical side says, “Oh, but what about work?” or “This is kind of crazy” or “What will people think?” It’s like that episode of The Hills when Lauren stayed home with her shitty boyfriend instead of taking the internship of a lifetime (“Lauren didn’t go to Paris. She’s going to always be known as the girl who didn’t go to Paris.”). When someone hands you an amazing opportunity, take it. When you feel absolutely lit up from the inside out about something, do it. Whether it’s moving across the country, going from brunette to double-process blond, or starting a new career at age 30. Take it from me, a person who has left the country with someone I barely know (twice) for a spur-of-the-moment getaway. I may not be on speaking terms with either of them, but a small part of me changed forever when I took those risks, and the memories I have will last a lifetime, even if the relationships didn’t.

As an editor who’s covered love and relationships for many years (perhaps I’ve even written some articles you’ve read!) I am familiar with all of the dating rules out there. And you know what? I don’t follow them. If someone doesn’t respond to my text in a timely fashion, I’ll call them out–or worse, call them on the phone! If I want to know on a first date if you’re interested in marriage and children, I’ll ask. And if I feel a little weird about a too-flirty female friend, ex-girlfriend, or social media stalker, I’m gonna ask about her, too. As a result, I weed out relationships that are full of games and mixed messages, and end up with people who are honest, straightforward, and interested in the same things.

I love a beach vacay more than anyone, but I absolutely, positively will not sunbathe. I know way too much about damaging free-radicals and carcinogenic UV rays to take that risk. I limit myself to about 15 minutes at a time in direct sunlight, only with SPF 30-50 on. And I never, ever bake my face! I’m a big fan of umbrellas, self-tanner, and snapbacks by the pool or beach. And just to make sure I’m not tempted to tan, I always fake-bake the night before I go away. My staples? St. Tropez Self Tan Express and Skinny Tan Body Mousse. I also pack a few Dr. Dennis Gross Alpha Beta Glow Pads, which I swipe on right after I wash my face after a day at the pool and then “wear” my glow out to dinner instead of foundation.

When I’m really craving my favorite vegan carrot cake, I will jump in an Uber at 10 p.m. and go pick it up from the bakery across town. When I’ve been eating too much of said carrot cake, I’ll order a bunch of groceries and cook myself healthy meals for the next week. When I’m feeling tired and un-motivated, I’ll slap on a sheet mask, listen to my favorite Pandora station, and book a hot yoga class at Y7. In other words, I take care of me. Friends and family and boyfriends are all amazing, and I have some of the best people you could ever want as my support system. But the more years I spend on this earth, the more I learn to enjoy the things I can do for myself. I have found that the higher the standard of care I show myself, the more I come to expect (and therefore get) from others.

I have gone on many a cleanse, elimination diet, and alkaline diet that required giving up coffee, and it was always a hard no for me. Coffee is my wine (I don’t drink) and I believe it’s the healthiest stimulant there is. Right now, I’m on a Bulletproof Coffee kick again, so I use a single-serve French press to brew one every morning, using 2 1/2 scoops of ground coffee. I then whiz the coffee up in a Nutribullet for 5 seconds with 1 Tbsp. high-MCT coconut oil (medium-chain triglycerides are believed to boost your brain function, and the high-MCT oils have a higher concentration than plain coconut oil). Then, I throw the extra coffee grinds into a container to store, and by the end of the week I’ll mix them with a little argan oil (Tip: Use that facial oil that’s just a little too old to slather on your face and would otherwise be thrown away) and make a homemade body scrub for the week ahead. But wait, there’s more! The coffee grind scrub also does a fabulous job cleaning the shower (and drain). I use the shower head to quickly clean up the grinds and flush them down the drain, and I swear my shower never looks better.

Thanks, Marissa! Stay tuned for more Five Rules installments.

 “Five Rules,” is a series on Rouge18 in which I ask others to share their five rules for life about anything and everything. You can learn a lot about a person by reading which five things govern their actions, no?