Fictionary is a column showcasing beauty-related words that don’t exist, but should.

Today’s Fictionary entry comes courtesy of my Twitter friend @abl_brands, and is it ever brill. The word is parabenoid: fear of potentially harmful chemicals in your beauty products. Readers are always asking me if I’m concerned about these things, and I confess that it’s not usually top of mind. So many products cross my path and for me, efficacy is paramount. If the product is natural? So much the better. One natural, organic gem that’s blowing my hair back of late is Deep Sleep Honeydew-Spearmint Body Lotion, a paraben-free moisturizing delight I keep on me to fend off flake-tastic skin. Obv, Deep Steep’s products are free of parabens, but also of chemical preservatives, mineral oils, sodium lauryl sulfate, petroleum and artificial fragrances.

The hydrating, easily absorbed cream boasts a singularly Celestial Seasonings Tummy Mint-esque scent that somehow also calls to mind the agrestal aroma of the dried fruit section of the health food store, All Natural, in Elkins Park that my mom used to bring me to in the ’80s. Honeydew and spearmint are a curious blend indeed, but the overall effect is more spearmint and less cloying melon. You’ll feel rejuvenated in an aromatherapeutic way, slathering it on after a rough day. You may also have delusions that you should go vegetarian, rock more hemp and do a three-day juice cleanse. Or simply drink a lemonade with dinner and tell everyone you’re Master Cleansing. Not that I’ve done that. Well, not today, anyway.

A 6oz. bottle of Deep Steep Honeydew Spearmint Body Lotion will set you back $10.

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