Can we talk about Speidi for a little baby minute? I can’t watch them. Heidi’s officially the biggest pushover on the planet. And Spencer just… continues to suck. How passive aggressive was Heidi when she painted over the (disgusting, I admit) graffiti’d walls and chalked it up to being a “surprise”? Just like her surprise engagement ring from a store that also sells handbags, mind you; her surprise grafitti’d walls to BEGIN with; her surprise boob job (the latter I’m assuming is was a surprise from Spencer to one Miss Heidi Montag). Even Elodie, Heidi’s coworker/confidante can’t hold in her laughter when Heidi refers to Spencer as her “soulmate”. And Justin Bobby is officially ridiculous. He’s NOT a real person. He’s an extra from the set of Dazed and Confused that took his “role” a little too seriously and has been roaming the earth in an acid-soaked haze for the last 10 years. I canNOT take him seriously and I don’t know how Audrina can. Slash he hit on Lauren in FRONT of her. I’ve experienced the (unrequited) affection of a friend’s BF before and I seriously don’t understand how a relationship can continue once YOUR guy doesn’t hide the fact that he’s attracted to your friend.

While I can’t cosign Audrina’s behavior re: boys, I can cosign her very white smile. You can achieve the same look with Listerine Whitening Quick Dissolving Strips. I recently had the opportunity to try them out and I LOVE not having to a) remove them b) feel like I’m ingesting some kind of chemical. They not only freshen breath while whitening, they literally disintegrate after a five minutes. After 2 weeks, my teeth really do look a bit whiter and people have NOTICED. The best part: you can whiten at work, on the subway, without looking like you’re totally, obviously engaging in a whitening sesh. Get them here for $25.

In other The Hills related news, I’m feeling very L.C. this morning in my silk Missoni scarf (I’m rocking it as a headband). P.S. You can get Missoni scarves for $15 at Filene’s Basement on the UWS (79th and Broadway) right now. Just saying.