Flash-Forward me to FEBRUARY. I’m still reeling over the finale or piece de resistance, if you will, of LOST. Yours truly watched it in a bar in the East Village where free shots of jungle juice are served when anyone mentions “the others” and free drinks are distributed when someone dies. What’s better than that? Not one thing. The introduction of flashforwards kept me up at night in a good way. My precious Jack is NOT in a good place, friends. This upsets the fabulista to the ENDTH degree. How is it possible, in a world, that he manages to look spectacular with a beard? I used to subscribe to the theory that only two men on earth should rock facial hair: Alex Trebek and my dad. But I’m going to have to add Matthew Fox to that list because even in an Oxycontin-soaked suicidal rage, that man is a cupcake to a carb-starved woman. And he loves Kate. I died. DIED when he said that, and I really wasn’t in a position to be so emotional in a room full of NYU students. I go back and forth with whether or not I think she’s good enough for him. I’m interested to see what happens in the next season with the two of them. And who is the “him” to whom Kate must return? Sawyer? Her former cop husband? Is it taco night? PS did you notice that he wants to perform a surgery when he’s in no condition to do so as he is drunk and on drugs? The metamorphosis is complete: he has BECOME his father. Remember I said that about Ben, Jack, and Kate?

SO many literary and movie references. Obv, the Alice in Wonderland theme is heavily prevalent. Sawyer doesn’t know what to DO with himself. (Sidenote: every time I say that, I have to sing Cameron Diaz’s character’s hilar karaoke song that she sings off-key in the bar. “You could never be Jell-O.” Done.) Is this situation not SO reminiscent of Inigo Montoya after he kills the six-fingered man who killed his father? Once he kills him, he’s basically experiencing “the rest of his life” after its peak/culmination. THAT’S an awful feeling. I’m pretty sure the Sawyer Satisfaction Saga resumed when he killed Tom. Remember at the end of season one when he told Tom, “You and me ain’t done, Zeke.” While I loathe the structure of that sentence, I love that he was able to make good on his claim. Amazing.

Ben saying that Naomi isn’t who she says she is a throwback to Walt in season two saying that the others “aren’t who they say they are”. What’s the DEAL there? Penny doesn’t know about her, I wonder if Ben was telling the truth. I guess I just have to wait SEVEN MONTHS until I find out. In other news, Locke finally killed someone (Naomi) disproving my theory that the island heals him and that he’s a “good person” due to his not being a killer. Did he turn a corner? Will he not be mystically healed by the island anymore? Slash I was SO excited to see that he was alive that I actually clapped. In public. I did the same when I saw Vincent. Where has he BEEN all my life slash all season?

Jeff Jenson on EW pointed out that the voice on the phone is said to be that of a guy named Minkowski. This is a nod to Hermann Minkowski’s theory of four-dimensional space-time, which has inspired many LOST theories. Could the flash forward be a “personal hell” specific to Jack? It certainly seems that way: Kate is with someone else, his ex wife is pregnant and estranged from him, he’s addicted to drugs, he can’t be a doctor, he’s talking about his father as if he were alive (is that just his drunken haze?), and he desperately wants to return to the island. And yet? He’s still a hero.

I also had an emotional meltdown when Charlie died. On one hand, it was inevitable, how many times were they going to prepare us for it? On the other, I’ll miss his character immensely. It was he, after all, who first killed an Other (Ethan). Glad he got the heroic send off his character deserved. And is Mikhail the Michael Myers of LOST? Why won’t he DIE? SER.

Kate shows up at the very end and clearly, not being on the island is agreeing with her. Girl got into her stash of 2007 cosmetics/hair stuff and is rocking the hell out of all of it. I know it’s at least the end of 2006 because Jack is using a KRZR, not released until then. Remember the writers said once, cryptically that “time does not necessarily move at the same pace on the island as it does off the island”? Perhaps that explains Walt’s rapid aging within a span of 2 months. Back to Kate. Her hair looks fab, her eyes are defined to the max, but it’s her BLUSH that I am coveting. Get the same rosy cheeks by using my new fave, Becca Beach Tint. It’s oil-free, watermelon-scented (to conjure images of days spent on the island subsisting on fruit and fish) and just plain gorge.

To help with your LOST withdrawal, I recommend seeing Fearless with Jeff Bridges. It’s about a guy who survives a plane crash, saves many others and his entire life changes once he returns to his former life and family. Sound familiar?