I read fellow Prince (pour out some purple shadow immediately, RIP) enthusiast Tia Williams‘ blog, Shake Your Beauty, since the dawn of TIME in blog years (2005, when she started it). A veritable Laura Ingalls Wilder of beauty blogs, Tia featured beauty tips and reviews, along with life anecdote realness in her signature talented style. If you haven’t yet read her latest book, “The Perfect Find,” I can’t say I approve of what you’re doing with your life. I devoured it in a weekend. The Bumble and bumble Copy Director brings new meaning to the phrase “often imitated, never duplicated.” If you’re not familiar with her site, I don’t understand what you’re DOING all the time. The gal named her bangs JOANNE. AND her love for “The Golden Girls” is real and deep, as “Will And Grace”‘s Grace Adler once said of Jews’ love of Chicken. Okay? I knew her five rules would be major and she proved me right. Here they are, in Tia’s words.

1. Invest in power tools.
My mom is not an electrician or a handywoman, but you’d think she is. She can repair/build/troubleshoot anything that goes wrong with her house. I don’t possess her prowess, but I appreciate how valuable it is not have to pay a plumber like 20% of your salary to mend a busted pipe when you you could do yourself. So I own a set of power tools. They’re pink and girly, yes. And I have to call my mom for a “you can do it!” pep talk before I whip out the drill. But owning them makes me feel capable and independent.

2. The whole “trim to grow long hair” thing is bullshit.
Think about it. If you keep cutting something, it will not get longer. If this were true, your nails would stretch to Calcutta. Just keep your hair healthy and moisturized, take vitamin B or Biotin, and trim twice a year. It’ll grow like crazy.

3. Bronzer and blush, a perfect combination.
Nothing gives you an outdoorsy, radiant flush like an equal blend of bronzer and blush (she raps, too!). Using a big, fluffy brush, swirl a sheer, unsparkly bronzer over your cheekbones. Then smile and blend a rosy or coral blush onto the apples of your cheeks. Always pretty.

4. “A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?”— Albert Einstein.
I can so relate to this quote. Not to compare myself to Einstein, of course — I mean, I can barely operate a toaster oven (someone alert Sonja Morgan!). It’s just that I’ve asked myself this question a zillion times — and the answer is, yes darling, you really are crazy. And that’s fabulous. Own your crazy and weird…the world needs your special brand of uniqueness. Crazy makes the world go around. Especially if you’re an artist. No one wants to read a novel or listen to music created by a flawlessly functioning robot.

5. If you want to write, read.
The best writers are avid, obsessive readers. Read epic works of fiction and terrible airport romances. Read spy novels and cookbooks. Soak it all in, it’s the best way to learn how to build structure, draw a character, construct dialogue. Even 50 Shades of Grey is valuable. Especially if you ever find yourself developing a female who’s been abruptly snatched from the 1980s to present day (no laptop, Anastasia? Really?).

Thanks, Tia! Stay tuned for more Five Rules.