Bliss‘ skin care always impresses the pants off of me, sometimes literally, like when I’ve experienced their No Zit Sherlock facial at Bliss49 and left my pants in a locker so I could spa it up in a robe. I can attest to both Olivia and Dee purging my face of impurities and pore clogging GUNK, leaving me with the facial equivalent of Tabula Rasa and even treating my depleted skin to customizable amounts of vitamins A, C and E applied via an air tube. One of my favorite parts of the treatment? The rubber mask left on your skin for about ten minutes before it hardens and is removed in a few chunks. I always envisioned that I looked like Tom Cruise in Vanilla Sky (and in the words of Planet Unicorn, me, too, Tom Cruise) when his mask was removed post-surgery where he was absolutely restored. Even though it was his Life Extension reality, which later turned out to be fakakta for a host of other reasons, few things beat that moment of relief when he reveals his old face, perfectly intact.

Is your skin dull and devoid of luminosity? Well friends, every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around because Bliss’ new Fabulous Skin-reviving Rubberizing Mask ($38 for a pack of 6–what’s the answer to 99 out of 100 SKIN CARE questions? Money.) is THE TRUTH. Packed with bilberry and Vitamin C, it calms skin, leaving it more even toned, vibrant and with truly minimized pores, a testimonial I sure as hellfire do NOT throw around lightly. (And don’t trust beauty writers who do–Cat Marnell made me aware of just how many of them are saying it like “pass the salt.” It’s the beauty writers’ equivalent of saying “I love you.” DON’T say it unless you MEAN it).

And don’t be intimidated by the whole  “make your own rubber” situation–relax, you won’t even need Tech Support. I like to use my liquid measuring cup (I mean, it’s great that I’m using it for something right? I’ve owned it about a decade and have yet to BAKE something), pretend it’s a beaker, don a lab jacket, empty the contents of the packet into it, use the scoopy to add warm water, mix with one of the enclosed spatulas, start envisioning myself a doctor AND a scientist and thereby start throwing around phrases (to myself) starting with “Medically speaking…” and then apply the mixture to my face. I then stare at my reflection and say “This TOTALLY takes care of Halloween.” Twenty minutes later I peel it off and open my eyes to smoother, better-textured skin. Rock it once per week to infuse vibrancy.

The Bliss Fabulous Skin-reviving Rubberizing Mask is available this month at Blissworld.com.

What do you think, BBJ Nation? Will you try this mask? Or will you tell me in another life, when we are both cats?

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