Corporate Phoebe in the hospital after a heart attack in the alternate reality ep

I used to find it so irritating when people would say “time is money.” I found it utterly self-indulgent.

That is until my life became a whirlwind of events and meetings to the point where I feel my entire existence is managed in 20-minute increments with zero room for anyone’s lateness and by Friday, I’m nearly comatose with exhaustion. I find myself repeating “time is money” like a mantra to rationalize $10 cab rides to cut down on my tardiness and gasp in horror the more my life resembles that of Phoebe Buffay as crazed, stressed, smoking finance exec in that alternate reality Friends episode called “The One That Could Have Been” where Monica is still fat, Rachel is married to Barry and Joey is a famous soap star.

Here to remedy THAT situation right up is sublime SoHo spa Haven, nestled at 150 Mercer Street with some inexpensive AND fast prettifying panaceas of which you’ll want to take advantage. They’re calling the services Haven MEs, or mini escapes. I recently indulged in the Pedicure ME with resident nail tech Gabby, who’s wonderful.

The menu of ME treatments include

Massage ME
Focus in on one particularly troublesome area
30 minutes $50

Scrub ME
A classic and effective smoothing, softening and moisturizing body scrub
30 minutes $50

Clarify ME
A facial treatment when all you need is extractions
30 minutes $50

Pedicure ME
Ten perfect toes with time to spare
30 minutes $27

Indulge ME
A new, refreshed, rejuvenated you from head to toe in two hours
Schedule all 4 M.E. (Mini Escape) treatments in one day – $165

After 30 minutes, I emerged a refreshed woman with glossily chic purple-polished tootsies. I felt much more regular Phoebe Buffay as opposed to Corporate Phoebe Buffay. Make your mini escape appointment at Haven by calling 212-343-3515.

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