After hearing about this disgusting exposé on The Today Show about the dangers of wearing flip-flops in the city, I’ve been encasing my tootsies in some flats (not even open-toed ones). More than 18,000 bacteria. CAN YOU EVEN? I’m saving my flip-flops for the beach and the pool. They are NOT for walking around NYC. Parenthetically, I think wearing flip-flops on your commute is almost as offensive as rocking sneakers with a dress while commuting. They give you a waddly gait that’s not sexy, dolls. And now we have confirmation that they are ALSO harbingers of fecal matter, skin and respiratory germs. So get RID and rock some flats. You don’t want to pull what is essentially the equivalent of this:

Remember the dialogue between Carrie and Miranda in Sex and the City when Miranda brings Carrie a pair of shoes to go home in post-mugging?

Miranda: I can’t believe he took your shoes!
Carrie: I know, I probably got trichinosis!
Miranda: You only get that from pork.
Carrie: Oh, well, I’m sure I stepped on a piece of it somewhere.

Now you may say, “But Amber! I WANT to rock flats, but it’s too damn toasty in August in NYC for me to wear something so restrictive. My feet will get roasty and sweaty… and potentially smelly.” Yes. Your feet WILL get roasty and sweaty. And smelly. But there’s a way to combat that. Enter Certain Dri Feet Microsponge Powder ($5). This miracle powder shaken into shoes before you put them on keeps feet cool, dry and happy. Its formula includes Triclosan, which kills bacteria. Ick. Simply dust a bit into your shoes and you’re good to go! I keep mine by the door to my apartment so I can powder whilst giving myself a last look in my by-the-door mirror.

What are you doing to keep cool, contented feet these last few sweltering days of August? Share!