OMG, gals. Have I got a story for YOU.

So you know I am deeply, deeply into Twilight‘s Robert Pattinson, who plays Edward in the movie. Yesterday, he made an appearance at Hot Topic at the King of Prussia (KOP) mall, a mere 15 minutes from where I grew up in suburban Philly. I ADORED growing up there… but I was so ready to leave when I did in 1998 to move first to Boston to attend college and then to New York in 2002 after I graduated. I love to go home to surburban Philly for weekends, holidays, etc. But never ONCE in ten years have I thought to myself, self? I’d LOVE to be 215-ing it up right now whilst flitting about at fabu NYC event. Yesterday, circa 5pm, that was the exactly what happened.

Daneen and I had spent ALL day emailing back and forth about Robert Pattinson’s impending KOP arrival. I was telling her she HAD to get there. She wanted to, but couldn’t leave work AND drive the 30 minutes from Center City to the ‘burbs by the ripe hour of 5. It was truly tragic. TRAGE. Anyway, so I try to get on with my lifestyle. I head to a fab event where I met Redken stylist/creative consultant Guido (who is HILAR – seriously, he is in my top five fave stylists group). Stay tuned for my interview with him, BTW.

While I’m there, my mother calls me like, four times. She does this, my mother. I think it’s a Jewish mother requisite. She simply calls until she gets me on the phone. Does this happen to anyone else? PLEASE tell me in the comments if it does so I can feel less ridic. I get home around 9pm, and when I finally have a chance to call her back, I’m sort of frantic because, like every other time, I think maybe something’s HAPPENED this time and I’m some sort of jerk for ignoring four calls in a row because maybe someone’s in the hospital, etc. P.S. Never has there been an emergency. She’s always just called four times in a row to ask me something like whether I would like her to renew my New Yorker subscription this year.

This is the world’s longest story. So anyway, when I reach her, she tells me how she had this coupon for a shoe store that’s only in the King of Prussia mall. “The Plaza,” she said. “Not the Court. You wouldn’t BELIEVE the crowds.” All of a sudden, I realize that my MOTHER unwittingly just HAPPENED to be the EXACT place I’d been DYING to be all day. Behold the dialogue:
Mom: It was pandemonium! There were so many girls crowding up the place for some guy who’s going to be in some teen movie-
Me: MOM. YOU WERE IN THE MALL WITH EDWARD???
Mom: Oh, you know who he is? I had to ask another shopper-
Me: DID YOU SEE HIM?
Mom: No, I escaped to an Israeli kiosk, where I bought the most wonderful flatiron and hairspray.

In the words of Rachel Zoe, I die. Is that not BANANAS?